H2O

I read in the paper today that a goldfish was caught swimming up a street, in Gloucester. Apparently it's being looked after by firecrews until its owner is claimed. The bit of this that i don't get is how on Earth anyone is going to recognise thier pet fish, when they all look exactly the same.
(I would be getting complaints from fish owners around now if anyone read this blog. My only consolation for its lack of readers is that i can subsequently write whatever i want, and nobody will complain. Perhaps, if i include the MI5 'key words', i will have some secret-service readers. Here goes: BOMB, AL QUAEDA, TERRORISM, PLANE, EXPLODE, JIHAD, WESTERN OPRESSORS, INFIDELS and, not to discriminate, IRA, ULSTER, CATHOLIC PIG, PROTESTANT BASTARD)

Yes, so i think that waiting for a fish to be reclaimed is quite daft. On top of the fact that the owner probably has other slightly more important things to worry about.

After extensive studying of 'ma telly', i have come to the conclusion that i don't really want to move house for a bit, because living on a hill seems to have a nice advantage (being that i can look down on those flooded out of their little abodes, in a condescending fashion, and gloat that although they may not have to walk up a big hill every time they go out, they do have to invest in a big water pump, for their big flood).

In more pressing news, i also stumbled across an interesting article about 'Oscar the Angel of Death', which is in fact a cat, not an angel. Apparenly it predicts when people will die, in the nursing home that it frequents.
If only i could get hold of it, i would drain Coral of all their cash....